||[16 Jun 2005|07:32pm]
is anyone else fasting with me?
its just until sunday at noon.
|i need to fucking vent
||[24 May 2005|09:17pm]
oh my god.
today i had my personal trainer come over and the first thing she said was, "what have you eaten today?" and i go, "you've been talking to my mom about me" and the fucking moron lied and was like, "no. but what have you eaten?" and i was like "yes you did talk to my mom." so blahblahblah and she said "i'm not working out with you until you have eaten something. pick anything in the kitchen, just eat." but i refused. i'm so glad i stayed strong. and i said, "ok then leave and i'll workout on my own like i do every day of the week. no problem with me" and she gave me all this shit talk and i said whatever. so we didn't workout today instead we went to barnes and nobles and fucking looked at pics of anorexic and healthy people and she said she wanted to put me on a "balanced diet" and i have a nutrition log. i pretended to go along with it but god knows i'm not going to fucking follow some ridiculous log. i hate being forced to do something.
i hate how my mom doesn't trust that i'm not mature and responsible enough to make my own decisions and notify her if there really is a huge problem. they might not think that i have judgement, but i do, and i have a conscience, too, i'm not some idiotic teenager.
the thing that pissed me off the most was when my trainer said that i was just doing it for attention. and i said "yeah because attention craving whores really go on a scale 11 times a day atleast and fucking cry when they see that they've gained 1 tenth of a pound, right?"
she basically force-fed me a salad but i refused to eat the other half. when i got home i ran 1.5 miles on the treadmill and did my 1,000 crunches and 250 leglowers. when i was done working out i went to see my mom who was on her laptop right outside of our gym and i just told her everything that i feel.
i even went to the extent to tell her that i hate when she randomly comes into my room just to ask what i've eaten.
all she did was say, "k". i fucking hate her right now. that close-minded bitch.
||[05 Apr 2005|03:29pm]
i feel sad. but there's no reason to be. its not like a normal sad, its like a regretful sad. i'm so confused. i told sasha i think she's a slut who needs to get her hair done and she got pissed. whatev i don't care.
so for english last night we had to make a list of the things we love and hate. so i'll put my list on here
oatmeal. my cell phone. the colour pink. talking. lacoste. uggs. silver. pictures. money. cadillacs. looking pretty. fashion. clothes. shoes. coach bags. pretty teeth. sleeping. flowers. my bed. burberry brit perfume. lacoste perfume. shopping. new york city. california. being tan. tanning. hugs. gossping. working out. showering. paris hilton. bikinis. summer. well-dressed people. doing well in school. good handwriting. hearts. music. my computer. writing notes to people. crushes. boys. getting compliments. my hair. my body. mini skirts. armani. victoria's secret. smiles.
the smell of old people. spiders. worms. bugs in general. the dark. waking up early. smelling bad. when my cell phone runs out of battery. bad breath. fake people. jennifer lopez. school sometimes. tests. being anxious. being rushed. pimples. bad hair days. oily hair. unconfident. bad teeth. garbage. split ends. little kids. when people snore. when the tv is too loud and i'm trying to sleep. when people spit. the ghetto. classical music. being bored. when my nailpolish chips. dirty socks. writing so much that my hand hurts. bad pictures. gaining weight. cabbage. vanilla. things that are black. drugs. dandruff
||[11 Mar 2005|08:56pm]
i decided to do surveys all night cus i'm sick :( kay. first one.
What is your name? casey
Are you named after someone? yeah
Would you name a child after you? no
If you were the opposite sex, what would your name be? casey
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? montana
Do people make typos/mispronounciations with your name often? yeah
Would you drop your last name if you became famous? yes
Your gender: female
Are you single? yes
If you are single, do you want to be? yes
Age you act like: 16?
How old do you wish you were? 21
How tall are you? almost 5'5
Eye colour: brown
Hair colour: brown
Who do you live with? my family
Your family is... uh?
Do you have pets? yes
If you have pets, what kind? 2 dogs, 2 cats, bird, rabbit, fish
What are there names? alex. sparkle. peaches. abby. aries. fluffy& we don't name the fish..
What is your job? like i would ever have a job
Got any piercings or tattoos? belly and ears
Want any of the above? what?
What languages can you speak? english& spanish
Personal quote: why love one boy when you can love them all?!
Got a webpage? my lj?
URL to webpage: i dont feel like linking it
Deep Down in You
Do you have any secrets? duh
Do you hate yourself? def not
What are your bad habbits? i cant think of any
Do you like your own handwriting? i love it
What is the most common compliment you recieve from people? that i'm pretty i guess
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? diary of a big black woman. kidding. idk.
What is your biggest fear? the dark
Can you sing? yes
Are you a style-setter or trend-snatcher? it depends
Do you pretend to look like someone just to be cool? no
Are you a loner? nope
What is your goal in life? for everyone in the world to know me. shut up.. i can dream
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not. i'm not nice.
Are you a daredevil? sometimes
Is there anything you hate or fear about yourself? no
What is the one thing you would change about yourself and why? my eye colour i want them to be green
Are you emotionally strong? not really
Do you regret doing anything in your life so far? i dont regret things. everything happens for a reason
Do you regret not doing anything in your life so far? not really
Has your life been good so far? yes
What is the most important lesson you've learnt from life? i dont know. im not that observant
What do you like most about your body? my face. i dont know
What do you hate most about your body? my feet
Do YOU think you are good looking? i guess
Confident? maybe a little too confident
Which fictional character are you most like? no clue
Do you...would you...have you...
Do drugs? nope
Read the newspaper? nope
Go to church? nope
Talk to strangers who IM you? if theyre hott then sure
Sleep with stuffed toys? yes
Walk/dance in the rain? yeah
Talk to people you hate? why the hell would i do that?
Like your voice? yeah
Hurt yourself? ew. not on purpose.
Been out of the country? yeahhh
Eaten stuff that made someone else sick? no
Been in love? yeah
Gone skinny dipping? duh
Had a medical emergency? yes
Had surgery? yeah
Ran away from home? nope
Gotten beaten up? no
Beaten someone up? no
Been picked on? of course.
Been on stage? yeah
Slept outdoors? ewwww no way
Stayed up all night? yep
If you have, what is your record? 36 hours
Gone one day without food? yeah
Talked on the phone all night? yes
Slept together with the opposite sex with out actually having sex? yes
Slept for 24 hours? no
Killed someone? not that im aware of
Thought you're going crazy? no
Been betrayed? yes
Had a dream come true? yes :D
Broken the law? yeah
Met someone famous? yes
If you met a famous person, who did you meet? jlo
Accidentally killed an animal? yeah
On purpose? no you sick motherfucker
Told a secret you SWORE you wouldn't tell? uhuh
Stolen anything? no
Been on television? yes
Been on the radio? no
Been in the local newspaper? i dont think
Had a nervous breakdown? no
Bungee jumped? nope
Had a dream that kept coming back? yeah
Believe in life on other planets? not really
Love at first sight? no
Do you wish on stars? no
||[01 Jan 2005|01:04am]
1. Copy and post in your journal.
2. Put a "*" next to anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true
001. I miss somebody right now.*
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.*
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.*
009. I've watched porn movies.*
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.*
013. I have acne-free skin.*
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.*
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.*
017. I have a hobby.*
018. I've been to another country.*
019. I carry my knife/razor/whip/whatever weapon you want here everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.*
024. I'm paranoid at times.*
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.*
026. I need money right now.*
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have long hair.*
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have a step brother and/or sister.*
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs. *
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.*
038. I like the way that I look.*
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.*
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.*
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.*
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.*
045. I have cheated on a significant other.*
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with less than ten people.*
049. I am currently single.*
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.*
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.*
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.*
054. I would rather shop than eat.*
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my diary.
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.*
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.*
062. I have a cell phone*
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.*
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.*
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.*
069. I currently have a crush on someone.*
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.*
077. I have a lot to learn.*
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.*
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.*
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.*
089. I love my best friend.*
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.*
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome!*
097. I watched Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.*
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.*
099. I'm happy as of this moment.*
100. I have gone scuba diving.*
101. Had a crush on somebody you have never met.*
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.*
103. I play a musical instrument.*
104. I strongly dislike math.*
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."*
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies/books ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."*
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.*
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.*
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.*
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.*
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong boys/ girls, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.*
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my boobs is bigger than the other.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I love Dr. Pepper.
147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why I'm unhappy at times.
149. I own and have read all of the Harry Potter books.
150. I like to smell my own hair.*
151. I carry a book with me almost everywhere I go.
152. I have an eating disorder.
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. Been hospitalized for "mental issues".
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I am addicted to a Manga/anime.
157. Somehow I always seem to get myself into trouble
158. I have dated someone for longer than 5 years
159. I have been hit by flying Eric Szmanda spittle.
160. I have lived in three different countries.
161. I have tattoos
162. I have lost someone I cared about deeply*
163. I've filled out an obscenely long quiz*
164. I am not human until I have had some form of caffiene.
165. I can't use can openers.
166. I'm really into this guy, but i need to get over him.*
167. I'm a member of Buddypic.com.*
I don't care about your name, so let's skip that, ok?: okay
Instead, what's the best thing anyone has ever called you?: caslut
How old do you feel?: 18
How old do you look?: 16
How tall is your best friend?: i have more than one
What color hair did your 5th grade teacher have?: blond i think
What color are your father's eyes?: brown
Where do you wish you lived?: cali or nyc
A Bit Deeper Now...
Do you remember your dreams?: sometimes
If so, tell me the one that disturbed you the most:
How about the one that made you feel really good?:
When you were a child, did you have very vivid nightmares?: no
If so, do you remember them even now?:
Were you ever betrayed by someone you trusted implicitly?: no
What do you do when you're home alone?: go out
What do you think about when you are trying to fall asleep at night?: nothing i just sleep
Do you fall asleep easily?: yeah
Who is the one person you could never forget?: there's a few.. and I promise I'll never, ever forget them.
Who do you trust the most?: any of my friends?
Tell Me Your Secrets...
Are there things that you've never told another human being?: yeah
If so, have you ever even written them down?: probably somewhere
Have you ever been deeply hurt by a friend?: yes
If so, have you ever *really* forgiven them?: yes
Are you a virgin?: i hate this question.
Is there anything that you really regret doing?: i dont regeret things
How about *not* doing?: no
We're Really Deep Now...
What frightens you the most in the whole world?: being alone
Have you ever contemplated suicide?: hell fucking no
Have you ever tried to commit it?: hell fucking no
Would you donate an organ to your best friend?: no im too selfish
What if it meant you'd die, but they would die without it?: still wouldnt do it
What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?: idk
Are you afraid of death?: depends
What do you think happens afterwards?: ..you stay in your casket.. i think?
Are you a religious person?: no
What *do* you believe?: on?
What are you passionate about?: things
Do you carry a lot of guilt?: no
Would you carry a gun?: no
Do you have a lot of anger?: no
Have you ever thought you were going crazy?: not really
Have you ever thought that maybe you ARE? and this is all in your head?: no
Do you believe in coincidences?: yea
01. My hair is still its natural color*
02. I have yet to lose my phone-virginity.
03. I get annoyed when i don't get to finish telling a story.*
04. I like to wear pink*
05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really, really amazingly well.*
06. I drink a lot of water.*
07. I've never taken a hit of a ciggarette.
08. I like music boys/ girls.
09. I'm such a health freak*
10. I love taking pictures.*
11. I have really tiny wrists.
12. I can identify some close friends by smell.*
13. I'm far too nice
14. I hate when people confuse "your" and "you're"*
15. I think dorkiness is attractive.*
16. I've never had a fake screen name.
17. I wish I had a pug.*
18. I miss middle school.
19. I have pretty good eating habits.*
20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes.*
21. I wish my hair naturally curled.
22. I can't live without chapstick.*
23. I wish I could sing
24. I like classical music.
25. Striped pants are hot.
26. I think Schylar is a really cool name.*
27. I usually don't get sarcasm.
28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself.
29. I shift between being sleepy and awake when I'm really tired.*
30. I hardly ever vaccum.*
31. I hate racism and nazi's.
32. I want someone to hold me.*
33. I like watermelon flavored things.*
34. I'm a snob about grammar.*
35. I am a terrible liar.
36. Axe deoderant smells WONDERFUL.*
37. I wish I knew how to speak in Italian.*
38. This "100 things about myself" list is harder than it looks.*
39. I am learning to be happy wherever I am.*
40. I have no idea what my school musical is about*
41. I appreciate honesty.*
42. I need a manicure.*
43. I love Dr. Pepper.
44. I twirl my hair.*
45. I love kissing.*
46. I don't own a cellphone
47. I want to learn to play harp.
48. I'm not old enough to vote.*
49. I live in the past far too much.
50. I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes.*
51. I want to see most of the world*
52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on over in London.*
53. I hate being lied to unnecessarily.*
54. I believe in love.*
55. I go shopping usually once a week.*
56. Today is Wednesday.
57. I've read more than a 100 books.
58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.*
59. I like feet.
60. I like getting compliments.*
61. I want the world to see me.*
62. I think it's funny when girls wear so much makeup that their faces become incandescent.*
63. I hate seeing kids that think they're different because they like Slipknot and shop at Hot Topic*
64. I have a fear of wearing too much perfume.*
65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts.*
66. I am tactful most of the time.
67. I'm afraid of spiders.*
68. I get too attached to some people.*
69. I'm usually on time.*
70. I forgive but I don't forget.*
71. I think way too darn much for my own good.
72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot.
73. I like salads from McDonalds.
74. I read for at least two hours every night before bed.
75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude.
76. I sing in the shower.*
77. Laughing turns me on.*
78. I wish I were asleep.*
79. I love reese cups.
80. I never have enough energy to do what I'm doing.
81. I have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton.*
82. I have driven a car*
83. There is no nailpolish on my nails.
84. I am unafraid to change, but I don't think I realize the boundary between change and utter transformation.
85. I wear brown, thin-rimmed glasses.
86. Goodbyes make me sad.*
87. 220.127.116.11 comes after 18.104.22.168.
88. I love cuddling.*
89. I run when I'm bored.
90. I wish I were more attractive to others
91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think*
92. I'm a billion times better than i was in junior high school
93. Compliments make me happy.*
94. I like long car rides with certain people.*
95. I drink a lot of orange juice in the morning.*
96. I wonder a lot who I'm going to end up marrying.*
97. I listen to the things no one else cares about.*
98. I can't draw from imaginiation.*
99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeh.*
100. This took too long.*
||[31 Dec 2004|05:08pm]
i just looked at my new lj and it sucks. but i don't feel like making it pretty right now cause i gtg get ready for tonight
|yesss. new year's eve.
||[31 Dec 2004|05:03pm]
Tonight I'm going to Stevens party with Lauren and Ashley. I'm so excitedddd. :D
Oh yeah, I made a new livejournal cause I got bored with my old one but I'll probably get bored with this one in like a week too. So tonight I probably won't be online considering I'll be wasted.
YES! I'M SO HAPPY THAT ITS ALMOST 2005! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I LOVE NEW YEARS! THEYRE SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!