kryp___tonight (kryp___tonight) wrote,

i need to fucking vent

oh my god.
today i had my personal trainer come over and the first thing she said was, "what have you eaten today?" and i go, "you've been talking to my mom about me" and the fucking moron lied and was like, "no. but what have you eaten?" and i was like "yes you did talk to my mom." so blahblahblah and she said "i'm not working out with you until you have eaten something. pick anything in the kitchen, just eat." but i refused. i'm so glad i stayed strong. and i said, "ok then leave and i'll workout on my own like i do every day of the week. no problem with me" and she gave me all this shit talk and i said whatever. so we didn't workout today instead we went to barnes and nobles and fucking looked at pics of anorexic and healthy people and she said she wanted to put me on a "balanced diet" and i have a nutrition log. i pretended to go along with it but god knows i'm not going to fucking follow some ridiculous log. i hate being forced to do something.
i hate how my mom doesn't trust that i'm not mature and responsible enough to make my own decisions and notify her if there really is a huge problem. they might not think that i have judgement, but i do, and i have a conscience, too, i'm not some idiotic teenager.
the thing that pissed me off the most was when my trainer said that i was just doing it for attention. and i said "yeah because attention craving whores really go on a scale 11 times a day atleast and fucking cry when they see that they've gained 1 tenth of a pound, right?"
she basically force-fed me a salad but i refused to eat the other half. when i got home i ran 1.5 miles on the treadmill and did my 1,000 crunches and 250 leglowers. when i was done working out i went to see my mom who was on her laptop right outside of our gym and i just told her everything that i feel.
i even went to the extent to tell her that i hate when she randomly comes into my room just to ask what i've eaten.
all she did was say, "k". i fucking hate her right now. that close-minded bitch.
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